I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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