fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
