Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
