There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I feel like death gave me a hand job
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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