is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
