So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize