my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
