I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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