Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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