somebody snuck up and got me drunk
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
