Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
