Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I party with great urgency now.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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