put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
