I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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