i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
