I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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