Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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