He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
