It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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