I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
