I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
