DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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