You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
