all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
