it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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