i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Randomize
