i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
