she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
