I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
