he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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