therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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