Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
he fucked my hip out of place.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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