Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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