Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
