Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
