That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Randomize
