I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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