I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
