A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
