I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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