Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
