I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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