I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
