Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
