Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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