Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
