Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
