Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
