Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
a search helicopter?!
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
