dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
