Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
