yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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