Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
