Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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