She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
