So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
