Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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