it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
