"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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