i need an iv and a liver transplant
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
