its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You were trust falling into bushes
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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