Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
