I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
