Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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