I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
the condom got lost in my hair
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
