He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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