I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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