Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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