Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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